WHAM!

 WHAM!

Where Where Where Where Where
Have have have have have
All all all all all
The the the the the
Monarchs, Rhinos ,Tigers, Right Whales, Polar Bears
Gone? gone? gone? gone? gone?

Gone toward extinction every one. Gone. WHAM! Extinct.

It’s not like “Tag! You’re It!” but “Bang! You’re Dead.”

You and every one like you. No more mating, nor herding, nor migration. No mutual aggression. No jury of peers remaining. Just bones in the void and the diaphanous fabric of memory.

1

The vanishing North Atlantic Right Whale (so named because it was apt to float after slaughter and resided in the North Atlantic) lost 4% of its global population
in the year 2016 due to ship strikes and fishing gear entanglement. The magnitude of that loss translated to human population would mean 225,000,000 dead. Approximately every man, woman, and child living in Brazil. The whales are now reduced to the rays that glimmer on the horizon past sunset.

2

The Extinction Cook Book

Crabs Casino (with right whale pickle);

  1. Serve unlimited crab clusters at the casino buffet.
  2. Catch the crabs with eight-hundred pound pots tethered to steel buoys with leaded ropes.
  3. Place crab pots and buoys like land mines in the habitat of the remaining whales.
  4. Plough any remaining whales under with ships of commerce.

Blue Fin Tuna Sandwiches

  1. Place 800lb. fish on a slice of global appetite rye bread.
  2. Slather with a mayo of curried avarice.
  3. Top with the sour dough of oblivion.

Bon appetite!

Panama Golden Frogs’ Legs

  1. Combine national population of frogs with equal measures of pesticide,
    water pollution and fungus.
  2. Cook for forty years.
  3. Recipe is complete when all frogs disappear.

Serves no one.

Baked Alaskan Polar Bear

  1. Gently place bear on sheet of floating sea ice.
  2. Gradually warm surrounding water.
  3. Watch as ice slowly melts.
  4. When ice has melted the bear should be sufficiently pickled in brine to safely handle.

Serve with coal slaw.

Sea Turtle Soup

  1. Entangle turtle or entice turtle to ingest baited hook with glow sticks.
  2. Remove drowned turtle from water.
  3. Throw overboard.
  4. Feeds a whole flock (of sea gulls).

Monarch Butterfly Chips (cashed in)

This simple recipe is remarkably effective.

Simply poison the Monarch’s food supply of milkweed with Roundup brand
herbicide by
Monsanto. Watch them disappear!

For hundreds of other great recipes from around the world order your copy of the Extinction Cook Book today. Visit us on our website Whamitsover@gone.org. Like us on Facebook.